Weak "I" OR Strong "I"?

-I have not been in a very good mood for last couple of weeks. After big try of practicing A New Earth tips and advises I just ran out of motivation and my pain body started to be in control again. (The books say that we all have pain body, which gets created and developed from very early childhood and every negativity, pain and suffer in our life just makes it grow faster. This pain body brings negativity to our mind and controls our mind and thoughts, and then we lose the conscious and get drawn in to the past or future and just miss the present moment which is the true life. The writer says when you become aware of the pain body and understand when pain body starts its work and gets your control that is a step towards awareness!) I knew that my pain body was in control but I was not really fighting it! Some little fights here and there with my husband and some emails from my son’s teacher about his mis-behaving made me feel down and upset, I felt that I had failed in choosing the right partner of my life and I had failed in raising a very good child. Few days ago I just got over myself and decided to push a way the pain body which I know it as negativity. The thing about negativity is that when you get in to it is like trying to swim in the mud and any movement just sinks you more!! Any way although I try hard to be present and be in control of my mind but sometimes I just give in and become very weak. This weakness have been with me on and off in my whole life but I am fighting it. The issues that I try to magnify and make it big for me are not really big issues. I know my husband has some faults, who doesn’t? I have plenty faults myself too, if we have some differences that shows up every once in a while does not mean that he is not the right person for me! If my son misbehaves sometimes which is not sever and in some cultures or countries they don’t even consider talkatively for a child as a misbehavior, that does not mean that I have failed as a parent. We are all in learning process for every subject in every single day of our lives and we all make mistakes. At least I am working on my mistakes. Any way last few days I have been trying to get back to the present mode. The positive mode and push a way my weak “I”. I need my strong “I”!!!!!! I don’t know how many people see their both side of their personalities. But recently I see my both sides very clearly and try to empower the strong side rather than the weak side. Life is too short and I should not really waste it with negative thoughts!
-I and my husband watched Religulous, the new movie of Bill Maher. It is a documentary movie about religions. It is good and I recommend it.
-I already mailed my ballot for election. I accidentally and chose mail ballot option for this year and I saw they have sent my ballot in mail. I thought why not I vote by mail this time. I sent it last week and I voted for Obama. I truly wish he wins.