Today's Marriage life

I met a very nice girl through one of the relatives last year around this time and I really liked her to be a new friend of mine especially that she is as old as me and has a little son who is just one month younger than mine. I met her husband at my son’s birthday party and he seemed to be a very cool guy same age as my husband. I was happy to find a friend with same family condition. Since I have moved to US I have found couple of new friends but none of them were exactly my match. I was lucky to have my two best friends from Iran living here just one hour away. Any way we invited each other’s over any now and then along with our families, but I always felt although she looks to be a good match with her husband but she is not happy deep inside. She called me yesterday and said that they want to sell their house, I said: ”there is a house in our street for sale. That would be great if you move to our neighborhood” and then she said we are separating, I know it sounds shocking but I have thought a lot and I can not live with my husband any more. She was saying that her husband is a very nice and respectful man but is not the husband she wants! I said: “What about your son? Have you thought about him and his future?” she said: “I have thought about it. I think it is better for us to split especially now that he is so young and he can adjust himself fast.” She said: “ I do not want to stay in a marriage that I am not happy in and when I become 50 years old, regret it that why I lost all my good years”.
I could not take off my mind from what she said and am still thinking about it. I understand that there are lots of issues and problems that no one can know except the husband and wife themselves and it is very hard to judge the situation but what a but the little kid?
When we make such a big decision we are not just deciding for ourselves, we are making decision for an innocent person that if he could decide for himself most probably he would not approve our choice. I hear people get divorce a lot recently while they have kids and you can tell that those kids are not happy. Isn’t that selfish? What people are looking for? A perfect life? Does such a thing exist anywhere?
I don’t know much about my friend’s case but I am guessing that she is bored with her marriage and she is looking for a more exciting and happening life. I hope I am wrong but if this is the case, she is making a big mistake. It crosses every couple or most couples to split when they are mad at each other or having a though time but when we have kids we should compromise more, try to look at the good points of our marriage and be more realistic. I myself sometime have struggled with my marriage and I am sure I will struggle in future too but I always imagine my son’s beautiful face with that gorges smile and re-think and calm myself down.
Lots of people that I know around myself and have got divorce (I am talking about ones that they apparently do not have very big issues such as cheating, drug addiction, … and their problems are mostly personal problems) get divorce because they picture a perfect life after separation for themselves, they think they will live freely and will meet new people, will do new things, will go to new places, …
Anyway I really do not know what is the best, sacrificing for kids or saving us. May be it is different for every case!I met a very nice girl through one of the relatives last year around this time and I really liked her to be a new friend of mine especially that she is as old as me and has a little son who is just one month younger than mine. I met her husband at my son’s birthday party and he seemed to be a very cool guy same age as my husband. I was happy to find a friend with same family condition. Since I have moved to US I have found couple of new friends but none of them were exactly my match. I was lucky to have my two best friends from Iran living here just one hour away. Any way we invited each other’s over any now and then along with our families, but I always felt although she looks to be a good match with her husband but she is not happy deep inside. She called me yesterday and said that they want to sell their house, I said: ”there is a house in our street for sale. That would be great if you move to our neighborhood” and then she said we are separating, I know it sounds shocking but I have thought a lot and I can not live with my husband any more. She was saying that her husband is a very nice and respectful man but is not the husband she wants! I said: “What about your son? Have you thought about him and his future?” she said: “I have thought about it. I think it is better for us to split especially now that he is so young and he can adjust himself fast.” She said: “ I do not want to stay in a marriage that I am not happy in and when I become 50 years old, regret it that why I lost all my good years”.
I could not take off my mind from what she said and am still thinking about it. I understand that there are lots of issues and problems that no one can know except the husband and wife themselves and it is very hard to judge the situation but what a but the little kid?
When we make such a big decision we are not just deciding for ourselves, we are making decision for an innocent person that if he could decide for himself most probably he would not approve our choice. I hear people get divorce a lot recently while they have kids and you can tell that those kids are not happy. Isn’t that selfish? What people are looking for? A perfect life? Does such a thing exist anywhere?
I don’t know much about my friend’s case but I am guessing that she is bored with her marriage and she is looking for a more exciting and happening life. I hope I am wrong but if this is the case, she is making a big mistake. It crosses every couple or most couples to split when they are mad at each other or having a though time but when we have kids we should compromise more, try to look at the good points of our marriage and be more realistic. I myself sometime have struggled with my marriage and I am sure I will struggle in future too but I always imagine my son’s beautiful face with that gorges smile and re-think and calm myself down.
Lots of people that I know around myself and have got divorce (I am talking about ones that they apparently do not have very big issues such as cheating, drug addiction, … and their problems are mostly personal problems) get divorce because they picture a perfect life after separation for themselves, they think they will live freely and will meet new people, will do new things, will go to new places, …
Anyway I really do not know what is the best, sacrificing for kids or saving us. May be it is different for every case!