Sad news

I was informed that my younger brother-in-law is divorced. He is the youngest son and he got married before two older brother ten years ago. When I joined my husband family, my brother-in-law and his wife looked as a happy couple to me but eventually after two years of my marriage, I noticed that Their relationship is changing, they would do things separately and my sister-in-law was insisting on not having any kid. I was very suspicious about their relationship She was going to school ( it took her 8 years to get B.S in Biochemistry!!!!) and my brother-in-law was so supportive towards her education but things got changed and since two years a goI felt like she wants to get divorced but she just wanted to get graduated and start working then divorce and my guess was right, I heard that they filed for divorce more than 6 months ago But they did not let any body know and they were living in the same house all this time.
Actually that was a smart thing to not let any body know, because most of the time in these situations families can make things worse with their unnecessary advises and interference.
They got separated friendly withought any fight or nasty talks behind each other, which I really admire.This is the third divorce between the couples who are associated to me closely, first was my brother, then my best friend and now my brother-in-law, in between there were divorcesBetween farther people to us too. What is going on? We hear divorce news more than marriage news these days. They say %50-%70 of marriages in California ends up divorcing!!Guess what, the 80% of divorces in US is initiated by women!!I know lots of places are like that these days, even in Iran that in my parents time divorce was an out of question option for majority of families the divorce rate is very high these days too.They say the divorce rate is higher because women have more power these days, they don't need to depend on a man in lots of ways so they don't bother to continue an unhappy marriage life!!In old days lots of women did not have enough education and there were mostly housewives so if they were unhappy they could not just get divorced and support themselves or their kids so they would just put up with the miserable life but besides that I think people were more patient and were willing to sacrifice more. In today modern life people ( men and women) are more self-centered, the philosophy of lots of people is we live once so we should make the most of it why be bored or unhappy, etc. I don't think that the pervious generation was right to just live a miserable life because they felt morally obligated or were to weak to be independent but the current generation is not right either.Today some couples think of divorce as soon as something goes wrong. Of course nothing is perfect and there is no one out there to be your perfect match. The reality is that all the marriages has up and down, there are times that every thing seems so boring and routine or you are so mad that you don't want to even look at your spouse but something that every couple should remember at these moments is, like every other thing in life marriage needs lots of work too. I am not trying to say that every couple that gets divorced these days does not try to work on their marriage but it seems that some couples just don't try enough to work things out and resolve the issues. Any way although my brother-in-law and his ex-wife are not my favorite people but I felt sad when I heard their divorce news, it hearts them both any way.
Divorce is not an easy transaction for any body!