Rainy day and election

Today is raining very hard here, Actually it’s been about two weeks that we have rain on and off , but last night there was a sever storm and today is a shower. Usually we rarely have heavy rain in Southern California, especially in my city most of days in year are sunny and shiny. That’s why people are so spoiled; California people get crazy at driving when it is rainy day! You see lots of accidents in freeways. When I left home today I thought I should have stayed home today and just call in sick at wok. Having more sleep hours what I really love, Play with my baby and rest. Although resting with the little devil is almost impossible!

The very hot news these days is election. Both candidates are so close and every day you hear in news that Bush is %1 a head or Kerry is %1 ahead. I think we will have the same situation as 2000 this time too. I myself cannot vote because I am not US citizen yet. When I become a US citizen I will be a democrat, at least they are better for middle class people and their foreign policy is just a little bit better! I am not a political person and do not know much about politics but I believe just having 2 strong parties for a country like US is not really enough. They should have more powerful parties and advertisement for running for presidency should be more limited. Today people can be manipulated with advertisement and hot ideal sentences which may never happen. The other thing is each party tries to bring down the other one as much as they can. I think at some points it get really personal!
Any way comparing to lots of countries at least this is a better way of democracy but not perfect at all. I like European democracy better especially social-democrat societies, but the problem with those countries is that people are more limited and cannot grow like people in US in business wise or some carrier wise and they are still a lot more racist, although you see racism here too but is a lot less than majority of countries in the world.

Any way I do not think there is any perfect political system anywhere, may be Switzerland is a good example for being peaceful and having high standard of human rights and democracy, but Switzerland is such a small, sophisticated country. If a political method can be applied to a big country and works good then it can be considered as a pattern! I am just getting too political here which I do not like but these days election fever makes every one political!!

Bottom line is I myself am happy to live here; it is a lot more better than where I am coming from. At least I have complete freedom but I wish there was no war, no bomb, no crime,…

Boss Day

Today is national Boss day in US and we decided to treat our boss, so we got her pastry in the morning with very nice flowers and took her to Chinese restaurant for lunch.
She was so pleased. I think she really deserves that. She is very nice lady originally from China very smart, hard working and down to earth. Every one in our team likes her alot.

It is amazing that in US there is lots of diversity in nationalities and races wherever you work. In our small team one is %100 American, one is half Iranian half American, one from Colombia, one from Philippines, my boss from China and me from Iran and we all get a long very well. Actually this is a very good quality of life that you cannot find it easily everywhere.
Especially in California (they call it melting pot) most of people really do not care about the other people’s nationality which is really wonderful, you can be foreigner and become what ever you want, even governor!! Isn’t that amazing!!

Cheating

I was reading Zeitoon’s web log today and she had mentioned a web log written by a married woman who writes about her relationship with another man. I was curious and decided to check out that web log. I read her recent notes and she says that she is married to a man for seven years and they have a son but they couldn’t really relate and she divorced once (mostly because of her lover) but got back to her husband after 3 days because of her son but still is seeing the other man but they are trying to stay just as friends now.

She explains how the husband limits her and always have limited her, never really listened to her and … I understand that it is very hard to live with-ought love and since a Woman get divorce in Iran, man will have the kids by law (girls older than 7 and boys older than 2), so may be some women keep their marriage because of their kids and have their own private love life as well. How right is this? Who is responsible? Society? Culture? Or the person herself/himself. I am asking this because even in west, that the societies are more open and after divorce the woman can have the custody of her kids, still some women (I am just analyzing the woman side of the story here, I know the number of men that cheat is usually more) cheat. My opinion as a married woman who has kid too is when you have kids and you cheat, you are cheating your children first, this can be more destructive to them than divorce. Some parents think their kids won’t know any thing but I think kids are the first ones who know all the secrets of their parents. If a kid especially a boy knows some day, that her mom is cheating or has been cheating that can have a huge harm on him/her, some kind of harm that will always stay with him/her. It will affect his future marriage and relationships a lot.
I think the first step to avoid such a situation is try to know the person we want to get married as much as possible. I know with the current situation in Iran and limitations that exists especially for girls in families it is really hard to know the person that you want to marry very well before marriage and I believe you can not truly know some one unless you live with that person under the same roof but spending enough time together and try to be realistic not just romantic can help a lot in making this big decision of life. So the first step is knowing your future spouse and then make the final decision for marriage, now if you did not have that much chance to know the person at least try to know him before having any kid. Now if you really were not that fortunate, and did not know your husband well enough before having baby then you are trapped and there is no better choice than sacrificing our feelings for our kids, if we think we cannot do it and our own happiness is more important, divorce is the last solution but cheating and living with lies all the time should not really be considered as a choice or solution!!

I wish we (Women and men) try to be realistic and less selfish so we can have a better world!!

Secrets

That is very true that every one has his own secretes, the secrets that you can never talk about it with anyone and you will burry them with yourself into the grave.Some people’s secrets are so painful and some are simple. I am currently reading Bill Clinton’s life story and he says that he has his own little secret from childhood that he cannot share with others or he never shared. As every one else, I have my own secrets from childhood. It is more about my parents and their relationship, something that always bothered me and I never wanted to talk about it with anyone. I always buried them in the back of my mind so I do not think about it but yesterday I was talking to my elder brother about his recent fight with my Mom and he brought lost of things from past, which pushed all the buried thoughts back to the top of my head. It hurts and I do not want to think about it but worst time for these kind of thoughts is in the middle of night that you wake up to check on your baby or going to the bathroom and the thought that you ran away from all day long comes to your mind and does not let you sleep. Last night was one of those nights for me!! My be some day I talk to a shrink about all these little bad memories. I know it will not kill them but it will make them weaker so they cannot attack me every now and then and hurt me as much as they want!!