My Mom called me this morning and was telling me that my cousin from Iran called her last night. My cousin is 10 years older than me married and has one son. Her Mom who was my aunt (my mother’s sister) passed a way 3 years a go. She was my only aunt from Mom side. She passed a way because of skin cancer. I loved her so much. She did not have a good relationship with her husband at all. I remember whenever I would go to their place they were always fighting but like lots of pervious generations of couples in Iran they just lived together because of their kids. Any way my uncle (my aunt’s husband) has got a girl friend now, who is a lot younger than him and to my cousin is very cheap and lo class. This has made my cousin very disappointed and depressed. She called my Mom and was crying the whole time while telling about her dad’s new relationship! My other cousin, her brother is single and still lives with dad. Apparently he is suffering to have that lady over every once in while! My Mom started the conversation that “ Oh poor Susan (my cousin’s name) she is suffering so much because of his father’s actions” I thought he is doing drug or gambling but when she told me the whole story I just started laughing and said “ Mom, what is the big deal poor old guy wants to have a girl friend if Mohammad (my cousin) is not happy to live with his dad he can just get a place of his own. Susan has her own life and does not need to deal with it. Why they are so upset about the whole thing!” my Mom said, “ have you forgot how people are in Iran. That is bad for the family reputation!” I said” Mom, Stop it. Lots of men have affairs while they are married in Iran and no one blames them. If a woman was doing that may be people would be judgmental about it but men are free to do any thing in Iran. And he is a free man he can have a girl friend and do what ever he wants. “ I promised my mom to call Susan and calm her down. I should practice before calling so I won’t laugh when I am advising her. I know my laughter would be insulting to her! She would think that I don’t relate to her problem and sadness! I also understand that since my aunt is passed a way it is hard for her to see another woman is replacing her mom in her dad’s life. But we all should be realistic and accept the facts of life! He cannot live with memory of a woman, who was fighting with him all the time, he needs to move on!
Any way it was a funny story to me. A daughter wants to control her father’s life because she is afraid what people would say! And she considers herself an open-minded woman!
I think as long as we do not learn to mind our own business and respect other people (including our family members) privacy and choices we won’t be successful to improve our society’s problem, any kind of problem!!!!!! I don’t know, may be I am becoming too Americanized!!!!!!
By the way, my husband’s friend who had moved from LA with his family to our city and were kind of pain in the neck for me (I told the whole story before) are moving to Iran. They sold their house and will move next month!
