Life + Underestanding God

-I watched the famous love story movie when I was just about 16 years old. I remember that I cried so hard at the end of the movie. When my parent came back from shopping and saw me crying like that were shocked that what happened and I told that I was crying because of that movie ended so sadly!
Anyway, Yesterday Oprah had interview with both Ali McGraw and Ryan O’Neil, the stars of love story movie. That was a touching interview, they played that movie about 40 years ago(1971) and it was a big hit at that time. They both have grown old now, and you could see change in their faces and as they said in their personalities and life style, the actual love story happened to Ryan O’Neil in reality. He lost his wife Farah Faucet after 30 years that they were together last year. She had a long battle with cancer. Watching that interview made me thinking about how fast life goes by and youth ends, we all grow old and our era ends. While we are young most of us think that we are the center of life but we are just a drop in the ocean of life and when we disappear nothing really happens and life goes on and on.
We all know these facts more or less but we are so attached to this temporary life and youth and at the same time don’t use it to the maximum and waste big chunk of our time in getting upset about little things, thinking about past, planning about future and other useless stuff.
I am learning more and more every day to try to be more present and enjoy little things here and there. Try to just let it go and forget about little unpleasant things. It needs lots of practice and I am not a very smart and fast student in this specific important course of life but I am trying…

-It’s been raining crazy in southern California in last few days. I have not seen such a heavy duty rain and storm in last 12 years that I have moved here. Last night while it was raining so hard I was thinking to myself that I hope all the homeless people can get a place in homeless shelters and stay safe and dry in this rain . Winter is the worst time of the year for them. While I was thinking about homeless people I turned to my husband and said if I were god, I would not let any poverty to exist. Everyone would have at least a minimum for living (that would be everywhere on earth, not just socialist countries). Everyone would have a roof on top of his head and enough food to eat. There would be differences in people life style and amount of their wealth but no poverty. I would let every human being to age up to 60, so they would have enough time to experience life at some extent. Nobody would die from a very painful and long term sickness. It
would be a quick heart attack or accident. I would not let any child to be born handicapped or retarded. I would take a way greed, jealousy and violence from human kind. So there would not be any war. I would not let human beings to discover that they could use narcotics for fun and enjoyment. I would disable that part of the brain that enjoys drug…
May be god has reasons to have all this going on in our life but we are like a kid that do not understand his parents when they say you cannot have more chocolate or you cannot play with fire. May be we just cannot understand god. I know that he is grater and nicer than what we all think but I am too little to understand his policies. May be he gave us enough choices and brain and that’s all up to us to lead a good life… who knows…but something that I know is not every one get same equal opportunity since he/she is born…

I wish everyone who celebrates Christmas, a very great Christmas and great New Year full of joy and happiness...

There are few blogs that are mostly Persian and I check them couple times a week. Some of them are very informative. Recently I see lots of bad stories that happen in Iran, I know it is not a big surprise but I get really upset when I read these stories. Here are two recent examples:

I am sure you all know and have read enough about Shahla Jahed that got executed last week. She was convicted to murder, murdering her rival. The wife of her lover, she actually was second temporary wife of a famous Football player. She had confessed in the beginning of the trial that she had killed the victim but later on refused it and said she was under pressure. Lots of people say the guy, that was her temporary husband and the whole thing happened because of him had asked her to do that confession. Any way although they did not have enough proof they executed her. The worst part is that they hanged her and the little son of the victim threw the hanging stool!! What kind of adults can take a little boy to an old age way of execution scene and let him throw the stool?? Do they know what they have done to him for the rest of his life? They killed any kind of mercy and forgiveness in his little heart and grew hatred and violence seeds instead. I read incomments of lots of blogs that people say the “killer” (which is never proven was the real killer) deserved it because she ruined some body’s else life and had affair with a married man. I agree that having affair with any married person is a big sin and is very immoral but executing someone while her guilt is not proven is a huge sin. The thing that I did not see anybody to mention is the coincidence of this execution with all the fuss in international media for execution sentence of another woman Sakineh Ashtiani because of having affair while she was married. Don’t you think that they executed the first sentenced woman to redirect attention from second injustice and unfair sentence?Why everything about Iran is so wrong? What kind of justice system can execute a person when there is not enough evidence and the person herself says she did not do it! I know that there is no perfect justice system in this world but in modern western countries at least they try to follow certain regulations. There is Jury duty, lots of factors are considered and without enough evidence the suspect does not get such a harsh sentence like death penalty. I know that in lots of European counties there is not such a sentence as death penalty and in U.S. in some states it is banned. Believe it or not it is more expensive to execute a person in U.S than giving the person life sentence (being in prison for life). The reason is that Human rights organizations appeal every time and the case should get reviewed all the way and sometimes these appeals happen multiple time and it costs the judicial system lots of money to review and reevaluate the case each time…

Another sad story that I just read in a blog was about a poor constructor worker that died while he was at work and there was no help or support from government or the employer for his family. His wife had such a hard time supporting her kids. She could not provide even foods that kids wanted from her. Long story short, her son asked her for rice and meat one day, she tried to postpone his wish because did not have enough money to buy meat and asked him to get “20” in his test (20 equals A+ in Iran) so he would have rice and meat as his reward. When the boy comes back home with 20 and asked if there was rice and meat for him. Mom was so upset because she could not give him his award and pushed him out of the kitchen, but poor guy slipped and his head was hit by a sharp thing and died. Mom ended up to mental hospital for two years. This story was told in national TV of Iran as the blogger said.How such a thing can happen in a country that is second exporter of oil in the world?? They say U.S. is a capitalistic country and social benefits are not good comparing to European countries which is true. But if a woman or man has low income (make less than $13000 a year) and has young kids can get free health insurance from government and child support for kids up to the age of 21. They can have a low income rental homes which are available in every neighborhood even very nice neighborhoods…

Oh well these stories truly break my heart and I hate that system so much for all the injustice and corruption…