Still hanging there!

-I am fine and still hanging there. My last day at work is this Thursday and I am scheduled to have cesarean on next Wednesday. It is pretty close. The baby’s room is ready and I think is very cute. We got new furniture for my son too. His room looks very nice as well. It was time for him to have a bigger bed and new stuff, we wanted him to feel that his getting new nice stuff too.
These days I keep thinking how the new one will look like, is he going to be as cute as his older brother? Of course his health is the most important thing. Although my ultrasound and the 16th week test were all normal but I think like all the mothers I have the fear that what if some thing is wrong with the baby? I hope he will be a healthy happy kid.
I should stay 4 nights at the hospital; I think that would be difficult for my son because he has never been home at night without me. I hope he can cope with the new situation well.
I already have asked my husband and all the close family to give all the attention to my son not the new borne. It must be challenging for kids to have a new siblings. I did not face that challenge myself because I was the last child and I had 2 older brothers one 9 years and the other 11 years older than me. So I was the center of attention whole my childhood with o competition!

-It is election time again; we will have the primary election for California on Feb 5th. I hope I can go and vote, I will try my best. I am voting for Hillary Clinton. She is smart and has been in the white house for 8 years. Obama has good plans too but he needs more experience and if he becomes the final candidate for democrats then democrats will have less chance to win, although Hillary is a woman but she has more chance than an African-American (black) guy. There are states (especially the southern ones) and people that still are not ready to have a non-white president. Who ever comes to the board will have a hard time fixing all the mess that current Mr. President has caused. I hope ending Iraq war will be one of the first actions. I really get frustrated when I hear all the money that has been going to this useless, un-humanitarian war! They could help all those poor Africans with all this money and eliminate poverty from that part of the world with the money they spent on this war and also help the US economy!!
I hope by the time that my kids become adults we have better, more responsible leaders in the world!!!!!!
Wish me Luck!

What is best?

-Doctor has scheduled Jan 30th for my caesarean. I am planning to work until Jan 25th!!
It will depend on how I feel; I am more tired these days but can still come to work.
I hope I can go by my plans and baby does not come earlier. We are all getting ready now.
Yesterday Our CIO (the top management of our division) passed by my Cubicle and said: “ are you still working? I thought you must be on leave now! I said I would come to work until 25th. He asked me if I will come back to work! I said Be honest with you, If I was working for private company or was not happy with my job I would not come back, but I like my job and I want to keep it he said I am happy to hear that!!
When you are a woman and get pregnant, the first thing comes to managers mind is that: is she coming back to work??
I should confess that the thought of quitting job has come to my mind few times already. The only thing is that we should change our life style if I decide to be stay home mom, we have to sell our house buy a smaller one and cut on some expenses which we will get used to I guess but the other thing would be my carrier, I like my current job, it is a high pay job, very good benefit and a good future. I will have a good retirement and I will grow in this job well. I am already a well known employee in my division. So considering all these will I regret it if I quit this job? If I stay home it will be better for my kids. I myself was raised with a mom always working and being out of home I was never happy about it and always envied my friends that had stay home mom. If I work I will spend less time with my children but I can provide a better life for them and for their future and education I can be more helpful. Which one is more important to a kid. Deep inside I think spending more time with kids is more important than a more expensive life style for them. What about myself? I am not really type of person that can spend all day home and not being productive, I know being a mom is the most productive thing but my job fulfills my pride and dignity a lot, will I be depressed if I lose this? I think so, if I am a depressed, down mom who does not feel good about herself, is it going to be good for my kids? If they see me less hours but when I am with them I am happy and positive is more important or just being with them? There are so many questions in this matter and I dont have all the answers yet! Overall quitting my job is a huge risk for me because getting this job back wont be easy at all and most probably impossible! I dont want to do something that I regret it for ever!
For now the plan is that my Mom takes care of the little one when I come back to work up to two years. I will try to cut few hours at work if they accept. I am not really sure about that. I dont want to bring it up now. I want to come back from leave and then mention it. Any way being mom and a carrier woman in today world is not easy at all.
May be women in old times were happier to be just mom may be not!!