Daycare again

Today I took my son to the Day care that I registered him last month. It was a lot better than the other experience. He was holding my hand in the beginning and did not want to mingle that much, but when they took them out to the playground I sneaked out, he was fine at beginning but he found out I am not around and started crying. I waited about 10 minutes and went to the playground. He was doing well at snack time. I sat there and was watching him for a while and then I thought, may be I should go out, otherwise he wouldn’t adjust himself to the new environment and the teacher said “yes, it is a good idea that you leave for a while, we call you if cries too loud’’. Any way I went outside but I could see him from the window, he cried about 15 minutes and the two teacher tried a lot to calm him down and he finally stopped crying and sat on teacher’s lap, I waited until after lunch and I picked him up then. That was a good start; I will take him half a day tomorrow too. I hope he can adjust fast. This a new start for a more serious life for him!

Misjudgment

I have a bad habit of judging people fast sometimes. This usually happens about the ones that I am sensitive about them or I have already seen something mean about them.
For example last year I was working on a project for one of the users who is happening to be chief of one of the divisions, My Boss changed something on Database side that had huge impact on my project and messed up some features. Since that user knew me as the person responsible for the project, she put all the blames on me and I got really upset about it. She did not even wanted to listen to explanations and she was acting very rude. Since then I was avoiding that person as much as I could until I was assigned to another project for her division again. This time she did not seem to be that nice again. Anyway I had the project ready for demo and my boss asked me to send an email for her and invite her for a demo. I did that on Tuesday but I did not hear anything back from her. I told my boss “I think she has ignored my email”. I was judging fast. Now today she sent me an email and explained that she had been sick and that’s why she did not answer on time. Any way I felt good and bad, I felt good because I found out that she was not ignoring me but I felt bad that I judged her fast. I need to be more positive about people and avoid judging.
I got a very cool link today that shows pictures of Tehran, I put it here http://www.worldisround.com/articles/98910/index.html. Enjoy.

Feel Better

I feel a lot better today. I am working on myself. Me and my husband made a deal last night to complain less and avoid arguing for couple days to see the result!

The good thing is we forget each other's fault fast and that's a big plus, otherwise we could not survive in our marriage. Whenever I see my son runing around and smiling at me I tell myself that I have the most precious thing to be happy about and I feel better.
I am trying to remember my resolution but sometimes I forget!

Complain

I have not written any thing for 10 days. The good news is, our director called us in an urgent meeting and read the letter that he had just received about our out-sourcing issue. They disapproved it. That was a big relief for every one. I felt good too, because the job market is not good at all these days and god knows what would happen with contractors.

Despite the news. I do not feel good about my self these days, I lose my temper easily and am not happy with my husband that much. I feel that he does not understand me as much as I expect. Although he is a good person but he some times has hard time to understand my point of view. Our relationship has been always based on being open and expressive about our thoughts and feelings, but I feel that talking about my thoughts and feeling is considered as complaining and nagging these days may be I nag but he should try to put his feet in my shoes sometimes too. I should do the same thing too. May be we both need vacation.

I will try to work myself more and get over my unhappiness! do I have any other choice?

Long weekend

Thank god, we have a long weekend. Monday is Martin Luther King day and we are off. I love it when we are off on Mondays. My husbands' friend has moved to our city and I told them that I would cook and send them food. It is so Iranian! but I thought when you are in the middle of moving it is hard to stop the work and go find food or eat out. Lots of people do that in Iran, if a family or friend is moving they cook and send food for them. My husbad had already gone there to help. He is so caring about his friends. Any way after cooking Me, My mom, my brother, my niece and my son went to the beach it was such a beautiful day, you could not believe that we had storm same day last week. My son enjoyed it a lot , he was playing with my niece all along and we had our lunch under the beautiful sun. There is such a nice beach close to our place, every time I go there I Thank god that I live in this city.

We came back home around 4:00 pm and kids were playing at home now. sometimes I cannot believe how much energy these kids have!

I have started looking for job already, although out-sourcing is not finalized yet at work but I want to plan ahead, another choice would be to work for their contracter, who is one of the biggest company in Southern California. I wish I could have a unique idea for business!
if you have a interesting idea you can make so much money in this land. I am thinking and thinking but me and my husband are both very conservative for business!!

May be one of these day some thing comes to my mind that can make me rich, although I doubt it!!

Job

I am not in good mood these days and most of it is because of my job. It is so unstable and I think out-sourcing is happening soon. I am not happy with my job these days any way. Although my boss is a nice person but she is not very strong manager, she is controlled by one of our staff easily and he just takes control of every thing. He does not let others grow and wants to be on top of every thing himself. I am thinking that I should really move on to a more growing position. Accepting this job was a wrong move from the beginning but I took the risk and I got some experiences. If I had not taken it I would always think I should have got that government job and so forth but at least now I know that not every government job is not necessarily secure! I wish we could have a glance of what would happen to us for example in next 2 years based on key decisions like changing job, house… and then we would decide, but in that case we would make less mistakes and would learn less. Nothing is perfect and bottom line is that I should stick with my new year’s resolution!! Less worry and be happy!!

Day Care

I took my son to the day care on the first working day of the year (Jan 03). I already had taken off from work for three days to go with him, so he gets used to it. That day was so rainy, one of the rainy days that we rarely have in California and this was the first time that I was taking him out so early in the morning. One teacher opened the door and assumed that my son is his new student, when I went to the class I saw about 12 kids with just one teacher, although the manager had told me that for my son’s age the ratio is 1 to 4, every 4 kids have one teacher. I looked around and saw all the demanding kids with that teacher and she was explaining that the other teacher is coming 1 hour later. Any way I left the room to see if my son can be there by himself. I was watching him from the window to the room; He did not notice that I had left the room for five minutes, but after 5 minutes he started looking for me and then started crying, I got in and tried to calm him.

The manager came after one hour and I asked her how come the class is so busy and then she found out that we were in the wrong class. She guided us to the toddler room that was a smaller room with 4 kids and a very cold teacher she did not even smiled at my son or me. She said it is easier for us if the parents do not stay with their kids, but I had decided to stay and be in and out of the room so my son would not panic! My son started playing a little bit and as soon as I left the room he cried again and the teacher said, “Come here” when my son did not go towards her, she just gave it up and did not even try to sooth him. I got in again and it was Art project time, she brought piece of papers, sticks and some colored shapes so kid would stick the shapes on papers, she put it in front of them and did not even show my son how to do it! It’s like he was a grown up person and he could figure it out all by himself, any way all morning I noticed no kindness, no nurturing, no attention from her towards the kids. On lunch time I told her that my son cannot feed him self yet and he needs some help in the beginning, she just put plates with food in front of them and of course my son could not eat, he just may be ate one spoon. The teacher was just sitting and watching them, no encouragement, no help no nothing! I was so upset and took him home after lunch; as soon as I got home I started crying. I could not leave my son in such an environment. My Mom started to console me, and my husband said if you don’t feel good about it just don’t take him there. The funny part is that day care is the most expensive one that I knew and this was the kind of service they were offering!! I called another place and fortunately this place had opening for February, this time I took my Mom and husband along with the baby for the tour and we all liked it a lot better, the teacher looked very kind and the manager seemed to be on the top of every thing. Kids looked happier and even the room was brighter and better, he started playing while we were checking things out and asking questions. We enrolled him for February. Now I felt a lot better.

On our way back home, my Mom told me this is just the beginning, when kids get older their problems get bigger too and you will always be worry about them no matter what!!

Any way, it was kind of a tough start for the new year, now every body is talking about out sourcing our unit at work and this is another hectic subject but I try to remember my new year’s resolutions and stay calm, but it is really difficult to remember it all the time especially for me!!