Another post

Yesterday I pampered my self after a long time. I got facial and massage. It was wonderful; it's one of the most enjoyable things for me. I love massage. Any way I got relaxed. I should do it more often. Unfortunately it is expensive and I am very busy too.
In the afternoon we went for shopping for our trip to Europe, my goodness we bought almost a suitcase full of gifts. We will visit relatives so we should have bought stuff for them. My brother has gift shop stores and very cute souvenirs, so we bought the gifts from him. I have got some nice shirts for ladies from other stores as well. This is one of those of our troublesome customs that we Iranian have, wherever we go, we should take so many gifts. Any way we are getting ready for the vacation!

Last night my husband and me went to Movie Theater to watch new movie of Robin Williams, RV. It was very funny!
Another hight light of last couple of days is that my husband and me discussed having another kid and the conclusion for now was "No". It is very difficult for me to work full time and have second child, living in California especially in our town is not cheap and our life style is not a very economic life style, we both like luxury stuff, going to vacations, having big house, good cares, etc. I know that I sound selfish, having another kid would be good for my son, it is nice to have brother or sister but with today's life, things are more complicated. On the other hand, I feel lazy to become pregnant again, go through sleepless nights and all that trouble, all over again, by the time that both of my kids are at the age of school I will be about 40 and all my 30's already gone busy with changing dippers and sleepless nights. I know I will get harsh comments by this post but these are my real thoughts about having second child but bottom line is that my husband and me feel guilty towards our son for not wanting another kid! I don't know may be if can cut hours at work then I will re-think about it. I just have started my new job and I cannot even bring the subject of cutting hours up yet. Any way we should wait a little bit more and then make our final decision!!!!!!!!

Sad news

I was informed that my younger brother-in-law is divorced. He is the youngest son and he got married before two older brother ten years ago. When I joined my husband family, my brother-in-law and his wife looked as a happy couple to me but eventually after two years of my marriage, I noticed that Their relationship is changing, they would do things separately and my sister-in-law was insisting on not having any kid. I was very suspicious about their relationship She was going to school ( it took her 8 years to get B.S in Biochemistry!!!!) and my brother-in-law was so supportive towards her education but things got changed and since two years a goI felt like she wants to get divorced but she just wanted to get graduated and start working then divorce and my guess was right, I heard that they filed for divorce more than 6 months ago But they did not let any body know and they were living in the same house all this time.
Actually that was a smart thing to not let any body know, because most of the time in these situations families can make things worse with their unnecessary advises and interference.
They got separated friendly withought any fight or nasty talks behind each other, which I really admire.This is the third divorce between the couples who are associated to me closely, first was my brother, then my best friend and now my brother-in-law, in between there were divorcesBetween farther people to us too. What is going on? We hear divorce news more than marriage news these days. They say %50-%70 of marriages in California ends up divorcing!!Guess what, the 80% of divorces in US is initiated by women!!I know lots of places are like that these days, even in Iran that in my parents time divorce was an out of question option for majority of families the divorce rate is very high these days too.They say the divorce rate is higher because women have more power these days, they don't need to depend on a man in lots of ways so they don't bother to continue an unhappy marriage life!!In old days lots of women did not have enough education and there were mostly housewives so if they were unhappy they could not just get divorced and support themselves or their kids so they would just put up with the miserable life but besides that I think people were more patient and were willing to sacrifice more. In today modern life people ( men and women) are more self-centered, the philosophy of lots of people is we live once so we should make the most of it why be bored or unhappy, etc. I don't think that the pervious generation was right to just live a miserable life because they felt morally obligated or were to weak to be independent but the current generation is not right either.Today some couples think of divorce as soon as something goes wrong. Of course nothing is perfect and there is no one out there to be your perfect match. The reality is that all the marriages has up and down, there are times that every thing seems so boring and routine or you are so mad that you don't want to even look at your spouse but something that every couple should remember at these moments is, like every other thing in life marriage needs lots of work too. I am not trying to say that every couple that gets divorced these days does not try to work on their marriage but it seems that some couples just don't try enough to work things out and resolve the issues. Any way although my brother-in-law and his ex-wife are not my favorite people but I felt sad when I heard their divorce news, it hearts them both any way.
Divorce is not an easy transaction for any body!

Busy Life!

Today I heard in news that it?s Sohrab Sepehri?s (famous current century Poet of Iran) memorial day. I got sad. I used to read his poems all the time when I was living in Iran. I love every single poem of him.
Sohrab, Hafez and Khayam are my favorite poets. I remember that whenever I was sad or upset I would take the Sohrab or Hafez poeam book to the back yard would sit on the bench and read poems.
Some times I Would cry too and would feel better. Today?s busy life style and too many responsibilities in life does not let me sit and read poems any more, even if I find time I am too tired to pick up the poem book and read.
I should spend more time for myself and do more of little joyful things that I used to do before I became a mom. When I lived with my parents back in Iran, I had no responsibility except studding for school.
I remember that my younger brother who has a very close relationship with me and is living in Iran now ( I miss him so much) used to tell my parents as a joke that ?don?t let her be lazy that much, who ever marries her would return her back right a way!,
And my father would tell him, I know my girl, she knows how to do things when it's time comes up, why should we push her now, she will be very busy some day, so let her enjoy her time now.
God bless my dad, he was so right, what a wise words. I am glad that I had a fun and easy single life! I am not complaining about my current life but am just too busy. Thank god that I at least find some time to write my blog. This is my joyful little thing now!

Memories of Geisha

I have been trying to update my blog for last couple of days, but every day something comes up or I get too lazy to write. The thing is when I don’t update my blog for few days I feel guilty, I miss my virtual friends!
Any way last weekend was a very busy weekend for me and I did not get any chance to write.

-I saw memories of Geisha and that was a good movie. It was showing the life styles of Gishas in Japan about world war 2 time. It is sad that women have been always used as sex object even today in modern countries, but the way they are using women as sex object just has changed! I saw a documentary program last week on Persian satellite about Iranian prostitutes! Every one says that prostitution has become such a fast growing job in Iran for young poor women or the girls that just run a way from home! I know that prostitution have been always there but is getting really out of hand in Iran these days.
The program showed the girls with shaded faces who were talking about their job as a prostitute, all of them would say it’s all because poverty. Which is true! The shocking part of the interview was about women who were married, had kids and were prostitutes.
This is way too much especially for our culture. I know poverty makes people do lots of things but when you are married, that really changes things. May be I was too naive to think that a married woman does not become a prostitute even if she is too poor.

This is a big shame for our government who think they are role models for Islamic world! Is this what Islam told you to practice? To steal from people as much that prostitution becomes an option for a married woman!
Here in US as far as I know and have seen in documentary programs, there are two groups of prostitutes, the first group that are the bigger group are drug addicts so they do this to gain money for drug not because there is not job or support for the. Of course poverty is a reason too but I believe there are at least enough minimum wage jobs here for every one who really wants to work! The second group who usually work in gambling cities like Las Vegas or Atlantic city pick this profession because they are looking for easy money and they make a really good money, like $3000 in 2 hours!!!
I know there are some prostitutes in Iran that belong to this group, they want fast easy money but I am sure the majority of them are poor and don’t have any support from their families or government!

Any way seeing this sad and shocking program and then memories of Geisha made me so
Sad and at the same time grateful to be born in a decent family and have the opportunity to get education and decent life. I know lots of these women don’t have any other option and it is so cruel to judge them when we are not in their shoes!I really wish that some day we human beings can eliminate poverty and create more opportunities for every one in the world. Every body deserves to have a decent life!

Time flies!

Last week passed so fast. Time flies very fast these days. I cannot believe that I will be 33 just in less than a month! I was getting used to 32, now I should say I am 33!! I remember that when I was a teenager if some one was 32-33 I would consider that person a very grown up one and 40 would sound old to me! Now I am not that far from 40! It is very interesting that age has different meaning to you in every stage of life.

Although I don’t like to get old but I feel that I know a lot more than when I was for instance 23.
There are still lots of things that I need to learn and experiment in life but I feel that especially in last 5 years I have learned lots of life skills, something that you cannot learn in school or even books, something that you learn by day to day life, by contacting with different people in society, by failings and winnings.
I feel that I have a bigger perspective of life now; I look at things very differently. I have a different perspective of religion, freedom, democracy, love and humanity.
I should tell that being a mom thought me lots of new things too. I learned to sacrifice more and care for a loved one a lot more than myself! I learned that my child is some how my own mirror, I see my mistakes in him, for example when I yell and become impatient I see it in him right a way and that reminds me to control myself better and try to be a better person so he can become a better person too.
Any way life is a very interesting journey and when we feel that we have lots of experiences and knowledge that is time to go! God knows where! may be next life! but how would that be in next life? Can we use our own experiences of this life there too? Lots of questions that no one has certain answer for it, if you have some answers, share it with me please!!

Movie theater with my son!

-Last night we took our son to Movie Theater for the first time. The movie was Ice Age 2. That was my husband idea, I thought that my son would not sit in Movie Theater more than 30 minutes but in my surprise he watched the whole movie and he liked it a lot. It was my first time to go to cinema to watch a cartoon here. There were lots of kids with their parents, they were so cute, laughing loud and getting excited by different scenes. Kids are so cute and innocent. I remember that the first movie that I saw in Movie Theater was in Shiraz, Cinderella and my brother took me to see it. Cinderella is still my favorite cartoon!!

-Today is 13 bedar ( the traditional picnic for Iranians on the 13th day of new year). We will go to the park that most Iranians of the town get together every year this afternoon.

-I really liked this link that a friend sent to me I would like to share it with friends, enjoy:
(Copy and paste it in to the address bar of your browser)

http://www.llangley.com/yoga/wisdom/rightnow[2].htm